Teaching yourself how to hold emotions and feel safe in your body is an active practice.

One that I have to revisit often.

When I’m about to do something vulnerable or outside my comfort zone and my nervous system starts to act up, I tune in.

• I close my eyes and move my awareness into the centre of my head.

• I slow down and deepen my breath.

• And I wrap my arms around myself, creating a cocooned feeling.

It may look strange for an adult to be holding themselves like this, but remember that much of our insecurity is patterns from childhood that we keep replaying over and over.

It’s a younger part of me who feels triggered by daring or stretching.

“This doesn’t feel safe. What if I fail? What if I’m rejected or criticised? What if I’m an imposter? What if it’s not good enough?”

Pieces of my childhood and adolescence pressing buttons in my body.

So I listen to what they’re saying.

And then I focus my attention on the sensations I’m experiencing.

Not the emotional labels of anxiety, fear or panic but the SENSATIONS of a tight chest, warmth, shakiness or churning.

When I move my awareness from the story-heavy emotions to matter-of-fact sensations, it takes some of the drama out of it.

I can hold tightness.
I can hold warmth and shaking.
I can hold churning.

I then reconnect with my inner strength, building my backbone with my breath.

Sometimes I can access this immediately, sometimes it takes longer.

That solidity, that trust in yourself, is so vital.

Knowing that you have your own back no matter what happens.
Welcoming that higher part of you to the party who CAN do hard things, CAN bounce back from a fall.

Once I feel anchored and connected to that embodied sense of strength, I can then test the waters by opening and expanding.

Opening my heart
Relinquishing control
Softening
Taking up space
All while FEELING SAFE

If at any point I feel like I’m back on shaky ground, I come back to a safety posture and try again.

The body has often been replaying these stories of fear and insecurity over and over for decades, without us interrupting the programming with tenderness.

When you can help your nervous system feel safe BEFORE taking big steps, you don’t need everything to go right to be okay (perfectionists I’m talking to you).

You have to teach your body to hold something new.

You can hold discomfort
You can hold visibility
You can hold being disliked
You can hold making a mistake

If you try to “fix” this without involving the body, you’ll be disconnecting and pushing against your nervous system, eroding trust with yourself.

It’ll feel exhausting, stressful and often leads to burnout.

But WITH the body, compassion and curiousity on board - you begin to build self trust and embodied confidence.

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