Hiding Won't Keep You Comfortable

WHAT IF WHAT YOU THINK IS KEEPING YOU COMFORTABLE IS A LIE?

There’s no What If. 
It is a bold faced lie.

You know how I know? 
I hid for years. 

As an artist - waiting for people to tell me I was good enough to create something/be a part of something.

As a business owner - watering down my personality to fit into the box of “professional non-confrontational singing teacher.”

As a woman - trying not to be “too much”, “too loud”, “too emotional”, “demanding” and trying to nail “just the right amount of sexy” and “confident but not arrogant.”

I feel exhausted just writing all of that. Thinking back to how much energy I spent TRYING TO BE ACCEPTABLE.

Testing how much of me was safe to share and what needed to be changed or hidden in order to show up as the woman I thought people wanted me to be.

Of course all of that was just a story from my younger years that played out in different phases of my life.

And the funny thing is, I was still uncomfortable.

I was anxious to get my persona right. 
I was disappointed in myself for not being bolder. 
I had a lot of shame around how much I was hiding.

So what I thought was keeping me cozy, loved and palatable was actually grating on me.

Because I couldn’t fully express myself and it kept perpetuating the story that somehow I needed to be moulded into someone else to fit in.

Liberating myself from that lie is a day by day, intentional practice.

Challenging myself to share a little more (as long as I feel safe).
Giving myself permission to make art.
Saying no when I mean it instead of my people pleasing tendency to say yes.
Editing myself less.
Speaking up more.
Putting my joy first.

Which of course comes with its own flavour of unease.

But I’d choose this one over the bitter, restrictive, “not enough” notes I tasted when I was hiding.

And you get to choose yours.

Drop a comment below if this sparks something in you. ❤️